Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Navigating the friend scene

In the city we lived in a subdivision but there were not a ton of kids around us.  Tanner was in the same class with a kid about 4 doors down for the first 3 years but they were sooooo different, they really didn't like playing together and then there was the over the top ADHD kid that would come play with Tanner only when he couldn't find someone else to play with and they usually ended up fighting.  Thus, we really didn't have a revolving door of kids in and out of the house. 
Well, the party (for me, no noise and chaos) ends for me.  We live 'in town' and there are kids over everyday.  Don't get me wrong, that's what I wanted for him BUT and it's a big BUT (no, not my big butt!) I am not used to all the things that come along with that.
1.  Both his current friends in the neighborhood are named Brady! What the......  So I affectionatly call them the Brady bunch. One (we'll call him Brady 1) is several years younger than Son and Son liked playing with him at first but then Brady 1 started to show his stripes in Son's eyes.....lying about things and wanting to dominate so Son sort of 'hides' from him.....yes, that's the brave thing to do, but he probably learned that from me! LOL  Brady 2 is the same age as Tanner and seems to be a good kid but his mom thinks Son is too loud and won't let him come over there.  So once Husband talked me down from that mad incident I realized it's better to have them here anyway because I know what they are playing and doing.  Brady 2 took Son over there the day to play and Son comes back saying Brady couldn't play because he had to dust the furniture.................I just had to laugh that was so rediculous.  Told Husband the next time Brady 2 came over and asked to play I was going to tell him that Son had to sort his underwear drawer!!
2.  I have no idea how these parents discipline their kids and sort of wonder if they do!!  Son is currently over at a new friends house and new friend has a sword and dagger (Son says there are real) and I'm trying not to freak out.....am I going to get a call that one of those 'accidents' happened????  I don't know why I worry so but I do.  Took new friend to the pool with us yesterday and felt like I spent the entire time watching how he was causing trouble.  Am I too high strung and this is 'BOY' stuff or is he really a brat.  Husband really needs to be around for some of those situations so I can get his opinion.  He is much more grounded and practical about these things.....
3.  They can't shut doors!  We have a door that goes onto our sun porch which is where the Brady bunch usually comes in - Brady 1 just walks right in the house - have to keep the door locked! Anyway, the boys have been told numerous times to shut that door and it never happens.
4.  I stress about whether he is picking 'good or bad' friends.   Hanging with the wrong person right off the bat gets you branded in a small town.  What I keep telling myself is, the jocks and big people in school were not necessarily the ones who made anything of themselves so being different might not be such a bad thing....look at Bill Gates!
5.  What if you don't care that much for the parents of the friends?  New Friend's mom I think wants to cling to me and I'm just not that interested.  I don't need a lot of friends and I spend my time worrying more about Tanner having friends rather than me.  I don't like a ton of chit chat and would rather spend time doing what I want to do like reading or knitting than talking about trivial things with someone.  Occasional friend things is good but I don't need close friends.  I'm much happier with acqaintances.  Am I a snob?????

So I go back at 4pm to pick up Tanner.....hope he's in one piece.  Take a deep breath and say a big long prayer!
And here's a picture just because I think posts are best with pictures!
Son's favorite food!

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