Tuesday, October 26, 2010


It's been a hectic couple days! Hence the lack of posting.

Since our move to a small town in north east MO, we have been working on meeting people and becoming involved in the community.  My husband manages a business in town and joined the Chamber of Commerce.  When they were asking for volunteers to help plan an annual event called Taste of Palmyra he said I would love to do that.  So in August I began going to meetings where we began the planning of this event.  It has been a blast and what a GREAT way to meet people!  I have gotten connected with some wonderful people in these last few months and they have made me feel very much a part of the process.  I helped with registration of the food and craft vendors and also set up and maintained the Taste of Palmyra Facebook page.
Last nite was the big event.  The committee started at Breadeaux, the local pizza place at noon for lunch (I ate before I went so as to control what I ate - pat on the back!) then split out to do all our jobs.  Michelle and I took care of marking off the vendor spaces down main street.  I had sidewalk chalk and marked the 10ft space and wrote the name.  My legs were killing me this morning!!
The vendors started rolling in around 2pm so we checked them in and Michelle did some trouble-shooting as the afternoon went along.
This year we had more food and craft vendors than last year and the weather was perfect. 80 degrees!!  Once 5pm hit, the people started to show, and they just kept coming.

Kids dressed up for the Kids Parade and got candy from the downtown businesses.  I got the biggest kick out of this family!!!
My husband's work even had a booth and were really surprised how much they sold.  They gave away free dog food samples!
Palmyra has a restored Federal Prison from the Civil War and they had it open for a 'Spooky Walk'.  VERY COOL!
Stayed afterward to help the other committee members clean up.  Such fun hanging with the committee - we were all excited and on a 'high' because it was so successful!!
Now I have been recruited to help with 'Christmas in Palmyra'!  Lovin my new home town.


Post 6.2 mile run on Sunday morning.

Post Monday morning run.  Starting in eating oatmeal again in the mornings.  I used to be a huge oatmeal fan but I ate the instant stuff and didn't add anything hearty into it so it didn't last long during the morning.  After reading several blogs (see the side bar) there are many runners that eat oatmeal every morning but they add things in it.  This has almonds, apple butter (homemade from a vendor at Taste of Palmyra) peanut butter and raisins and this really fills me up!!

Didn't run this morning because my feet were still hurting and I was exhausted from my long day yesterday. 

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I am what I eat!

This just doesn't seem to sink in with me!  I know that 80% off weight loss and how you look is nutrition and the food you put in your body.  Why can't I get that?

This morning was my long run day.  I did 6.2 miles and felt really good.  The first couple miles were tough.  My front leg muscles (forgot the technical name for it) started cramping up and so they were tight till about 3 miles then I was feeling pretty good!  Rocked out the rest and recovered quickly.  I think I go in to sort of like a trance because when I was thinking about my run later in the day I have a hard time remembering details.

So anyway, I do my run, take the dog on a walk and change clothes after showering.  The compression type shorts I wear have a tag sewn in so that rubbed during my run so I was looking at it in the mirror with these knit pants on and I was like WHOA...............Dang!  Then I turn to the side and I'm like "you are a fat pig"!  Really.......I look at myself in the mirror and am so disappointed.  I just ran 6.2 miles and have been running for 4 months and this is what I look like?????  WTF!  My first feeling was 'give up'.....it's too much work to make it be like this.....why bother.  But then I also tried to realize that it won't happen in a day BUT mostly I finally started thinking about how the food I was eating (really crappy and tooo much) was the real issue.  So today when I was tempted with things food wise, I said to myself, You are what you eat.  It makes me stop and think a little and remember that image looking back at me.  Why do I go thru all the effort and work to run like I do and then put terrible things for me in my mouth???

My hope and prayer is that this phrase will continue to mean something to me every day!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Why does it rain on Saturday?

When I first started running about 3 months ago I remember thinking I wanted it to rain in the morning so it would keep me from having to go out and run.  Now, it's raining this morning and it was to be my 'long' run for the week (6 miles) and I am actually missing it!!  I have resolved that today is my rest day and I will do 6 miles in the morning - which is okay.  But it's funny what running or exercise can do to you!  You HATE it at first then if you can stay with it you become sort of 'addicted' and enjoy the 'exhaution'.  For me I always think.....it will not last forever and the end results are positive. 

Dinner last nite was pretty hasty.  I had run errands all day and was zoning out in my chair with my computer and all the sudden it's time for dinner and to go to the football game.  Had a salad with chick peas, black beans and mixed greens and a Morning Star Griller on an Arnold Multi-grain Sandwich thin.  Didn't get a pick except for the leftovers in the fridge for the salad.

Here's breakfast.....

And here's how I have been working on portion control.  The white bowl was my old portion the clear one is my new cereal bowl.

Most of the running/eating blogs I now love to follow talk about eating oatmeal every morning.  I did oatmeal for YEARS and loved it, still do but it never seemed to stay with me that long or give me much 'fiber' benefit.  I keep thinking I need to try it again and I do notice they put many additional ingredients on or in their bowl.  Maybe the PB (peanut butter) and add ins are the things that keep the 'staying power'.

Today we make a trip to 'the city'.  I need a new pair of running shoes - more on that later. And we want to reconnect with some of our dear friends from there. 

Friday, October 22, 2010


Had a good run this morning..... this time I pushed really hard to make it under 33 minutes at the very end and thought I was going to get sick right on the side of the road.  I had been telling myself from the beginning of my run that I needed to be making up those 2 seconds early on when I felt good instead of pushing myself so hard at the end when I don't have much left anyway!  Thought I was doing that......BUT I get a block away and I pull out my iphone and check my time.  I have like 30 seconds till 33 minutes so I'm thinking "no problem" but then the mileage was slightly off so I had to run about a half block further to get to 3.1 miles which pushed me over the 33!!  DANG, DANG!!  And I had pushed myself so hard that last block that I literally would have puked if I had had something in my stomach!  I have had that issue before when I was running some 5K's in my younger days.  So I don't know if it's the physical pushing or if it's all in my head!

This was breakfast:

Alittle dark chocolate with my PB!

And this is Bing-Lee telling me it's his turn!

This was dinner last nite.  No, it's not good that it is so processed!  I will try to make my own next time.  It can't be that hard.

Hubbie has a 'to-do' list for me, which is totally fine by me....all fun things.  Went to Quincy this morning, and to Mexico this afternoon.  T is out of school today so he is along for the ride.
BTW.....T had an EXCELLENT teacher conference last nite.  Made the A honor roll!!!  All A's except 2 B+'s and those he had brought up from a B- and a B.  Love that kid!!  

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Photos up and running

Got my new SD card today so I can now post photos!
No breakfast shot....pre-WalMart but I had my usual bowl of Bran Flakes with Almond Milk.
Mid morning snack of WholeGrain toast with PB.

I WAS BAD again!  Ran my errands, in a wonderful happy mood, then to WalMart.  Made the mistake of even walking into the bakery area.  Bought 3 individual donuts.....at least I didn't buy an entire dozen (not sure that is truly something I should pat myself on the back about!).  Ate them all.  Not hungry but wanted sugar???? Really don't know!  Need to work on that one.

Did have a healthy lunch and here's a picture to show.
Whole Wheat tortilla with fat free refried beans, brown rice, black beans, chick peas, and lettuce. 

These are new......thought they were going to be incredibly addictive but they are okay.....nothing fabulous like I thought so they will be a nemisis but not too bad.

Saw Rachel Ray Show this morning. She had the host of a show about people who they called 'Freaky Eaters'.  One guy ate nothing but cheeseburgers morning, noon and nite.  Another lady was addicted to chocolate/sugar.  THAT I could relate to.  She said she basically just avoids it and never has it.  They were on a show on TLC called Freaky Eaters.   Just like this morning when I had to do the donut thing when I wasn't even hungry.  I feel I am definitely addicted...just not sure if it should be cold turkey or if I should learn to 'deal' with it and show some discipline.

Got a call for a job interview today at 4pm.  We'll see.......

Forgot to say, I did my run this morning.  I missed coming in under 33 minutes by 2 seconds!!!  2 measly seconds!!  I was so mad.  I need to come up with something where I can check my time better.  I have my nike+ app on my iphone which tells me that info but I keep in tucked in my wind-breaker inside pocket so there is no 'quick view' to check and see how I am doing without pulling it out of the pocket. 
This is what I really want but am not ready to breakdown and pay the money yet....maybe if I get a job I can do it then.

That's a crappy pic but you get the idea.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Before It's Too Late

Today is National Love Your Body Day.  Well, that's a tough one for me!  But, I will give it a shot because yes, there are things that I can love about my body.

1.  I have killer legs from the knee down! (This is supposed to be positive stuff so I won't mention my thighs!) I love my small ankles!
2.  I can run up to 6 miles without stopping to walk.
3.  I rarely get sick!  Not even a cold so I have an awesome immune system.
4.  I wake up most everyday feeling good - it's actually almost unbearable for me when I don't feel good.
5.  I have pretty hazel eyes.
6.  I have aged relatively well.
7.  I have a brain that is actually smarter than I give it credit for.  4.0 in my Masters program.
8.  I have a lot of energy and stamina.  I move fast all the time.

That is all I can think of right now......I'm sure the list would be longer if it was what you didn't like.
This was interesting for me because I usually don't think of the positive, I focus on 'what I am NOT, not what I am too often.
Someone on another blog said they were proud of their flaws, because they made her unique.  I like that!  I don't embrace the flaws at all...they glare at me.
I will not be able to conquer my food issues till I embrace who I really am......big thighs and hips included.  I know being thin will not make me happy so I press on trying to accept what I am and enjoy it before it's too late!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Forgotten links

I'm having a hard time remembering to put the links to the blogs I am talking about in my posts. 

Here's some of the ones I have referred to:
Intuitive Eating
Eating Before Working Out

Thanks to these wonderful bloggers for helping me get started and motivated to try to conquer my food issues.  Most all of them have been less healthy than they currently are at some point in time so it motivates me to think I can be more than I am.

Tailbone Tales

By the end of kickboxing class last evening my tailbone was again killing me!  It started last week, I think after our class on Thursday nite and was finally much better until class.  It has to be the sit ups we are doing.....the nite it first started hurting we did like 30 of them in a row and periodically thru out class.  Didn't notice it till we started stretching out at the end and I could barely sit!  I will be abstaining from situps at the next class...

On to other things.  Started out the morning lovely.  I have been seeing on some of the blogs I am following that many runners eat BEFORE they run and they eat PB&bananas alot.  I don't eat before I run and have begun to wonder if this is a detrement (sp?).  I roll out of bed about 6:15 in the dark, put on some clothes and head out.  Not sure if a full stomach would sit well for me.  I may have to give it a try or do more research on this topic.  ANYWAY.....I had a PB&J sandwich AFTER my run and I have to say, I have never been a big PB&J sandwich eater but they are REALLY GOOD....maybe too good.  Came back from walking T to school and continuing on with Bing-Lee (the Shar-Pei) for his morning exercise.  Had a smaller bowl of Bran Flakes then showered and headed out to shop. 
Here is where the train goes off the track.  I was going along, making smart food choices at Walley World and I am close to being done and the the sweets/bakery area is calling my name.  What do I do but pick up a box of donut holes and then eat half of it on the way home.  THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT WITH THE FOOD ISSUES!!  I was not even hungry but something was pulling me to those donuts.  This is what I have to fix.  Needless to say, I was stuffed and had no room for a healthy lunch option at home. 

I'm going to go research the eating before a run thing and see if I can decide if that will be a benefit or not.  I ran this morning 33:32.....I want to steadily get this down but I was faster yesterday than today.  Maybe it was the rest day in between?????
Anyway, nike+ tells me I'm at the orange level because now I have run total over 61 miles!!
I will start posting photos because words all by themselves are boring......need to get a new SD card.
Slow and steady right?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Intuitive Eating

As I mentioned in my last post, I am really going to try and get my relationship with food straightened out.  I have been reading several blogs of ladies who run and work to eat healthy food.  I found a reference to this book in this blog.  I have done nothing but diet and stress about food for years.  I never got to the point of being bulimic or anorexic but I have tried every diet out there it seems like.  Weight Watchers (which was the most successful but when I wasn't 'honest' with my food journaling, everything fell apart and I have tried to get that back without success each time) Atkins, Zone, Sugar-Busters, Medifast and on and on and on!

I'M DONE!!!  I so want to be done!!

The blogger in the above mentioned blog talked about her years of unhealthy relationships with food and talked about how this is making a difference in her life so I decided to make a very small investment in the book and see if I can make some changes in the way I view food.

This morning I started out good, like I normally do.  Ran 3.1 miles and my pace was in the 9's each mile but ended up at an avg pace of 11 something......what's up with that but that's another post for another day!  Came home feeling good and had a 'smaller bowl' (remember I am trying smaller portions) of cereal
and drank a glass of water (again, a goal of mine to drink more water) and the wheels went off the cart about 11am.  Got out the wheat Thin crackers and started snacking.  Why?  I wasn't hungry....bored is my thought.  Started cleaning house rest of morning then fixed some Teriaki Noodles for lunch/dinner - have kickboxing tonight so can't eat too close to that so eat a late lunch or very early dinner. Felt like baking something (probably just wanted some sugar that would come in acceptable vegan form) and ate 2 vegan, chocolate chip scones and was STUFFED!!  Once again, eating when I am not hungry.....soooo frustrating.

I need to get in touch with eating only when I am hungry.  I do know that portions again play into this because when I eat too big a portion then I am not hungry again for several hours (doesn't stop me from eating!) so when I think it's 'the time' to eat I can't pass it up.  For instance.....I eat a big lunch and am not hungry when T and Hubbie sit down to eat but I think I have to eat too.....can't miss the opportunity to eat!!  And for some reason I think there will not be an opportunity to eat again.......

Not sure this vegan thing is going to work......I have sooo much gas and bloating I can hardly stand it.  I 'stink' all the time.  Not sure what to do but that's a post for another day.

Hope to have a good kickboxing hour!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Eating - trying to get it right!

In June T and I joined hubbie/dad in our new location.  For more months that I would like to count I thought when I was able to leave the job that I hated everything would be great in the eating dept.  I am a stress eater, I am a happy eater, I am a console myself for a bad day eater, I am a reward myself for a great accomplishment eater, I am a I love to eat eater.  Because I disliked my job so much I attributed much of my eating issues to that unhappiness.  Little did I know, just leaving the job wouldn't solve anything.  And I have to say in the back of my mind I knew that!!
So I get to our new location, on 'sabatical' and carefree.  Sooooo happy to not have to work nights, weekends or holidays any longer.  I had been pretty disciplined for the last several months before the move, doing the Atkins diet and feeling good eating less food.  For the first couple weeks I was kept busy with settling in and doing things around the house.  I decided that since I would not be getting the same number of steps each day since my retail job kept me on the move all day long, I would need to start exercising more.  I got up at 5:45am and would walk for at least 45 mintues each day.  Then I would take the dog on at least a 30 minute walk at least once a day sometimes 2 times.  Feeling good about the additional exercise I started gradually eating more food and breaking the 'no carb' rule.  This has happened to me so many times I can't count.  It is SOOOOO frustrating that I can't nail this.

I AM A BINGE EATER.  If I am incredibly disciplined and 'in the zone' I can resist the pull of sugar and carbs but that zone only lasts so long.  I have issues with food and I really am not sure why.

Around 2 months ago I decided I should consider becoming a vegan.  I have always been an animal lover but feel that truly the most important component was the health benefits.  Living in a small town doesn't give me the countless options for eating a vegan diet that St Louis would have so I 'tested' it out for a few weeks by just being vegetarian and seeing what vegan options were there.  It seemed like it was going to be too hard but then the egg plant salmonela thing happened and I saw some pretty terrible images from chicken farms so decided I would cut out the eggs and dairy.  Plus, the absence of cholestorol because no dairy is a huge plus.

In the mean time, I started running shortly after I started my walking.  I worked myself up to being able to run 3 miles without stopping by July but the wheels had fallen off the truck as far as eating.  I also was kickboxing for 60 minutes 3 times a week.  With all that exercise, you would think I would be stick thin by October for my 30 yr reunion but noooooo  I hadn't lost a thing and had gained.  Atribute that to such a poor diet.  Just goes to show you can be vegan and still over-weight!

I am 48, soon to be 49 and not incredibly over-weight.  My doctor never says anything to me about needing to lose weight so I consider myself to be fairly normal but I am borderline 'clinically obese'.  At 5'4" I don't have a whole lot of height to balance out the 150 and change weight I carry.  I am not happy in my skin.  I don't feel healthy and most of the time I feel bloated and pudgy.  Putting clothes on each day is not any fun. I put them on and shake my head that I am running everyday but still can't fit or feel comfortable in size 14 things.

This blog I hope will help me work thru these issues that I have.

Here are some guidelines I need to try and follow:

1.  Portion control - this is such an issue.  Recently I have started following some blogs of runners I stumbled on and they post pics of what they eat and it hit me like a ton of bricks.....they running more than I am on a daily basis and they are eating much smaller portions than I am.  Got to adjust.

2.  Moderation - there are so many things I like to eat I really don't want to 'ban' things from my diet.  I need to learn how to control and not have the emotional issues with said food items that makes me binge on them.

3.  Keep moving and training to get faster and more comfortable with longer runs.  Goal of another half marathon in the spring?

4.  Embrace water and make it my friend.  I can't lie......I hate water except for when I am hot and sweaty then ice cold water tastes good but I have to choke it down otherwise.  Goal:  try and find other alternatives that I like but can get me the water I need.

Enough for now.....I'm exhausted! 
I'm going to bed to read. More tomorrow!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

A beautiful day in the neighborhhod

Yesterday I decided I would try to run my 3.1 mile route twice.  I mauled it over in my head for quite awhile trying to decide should I run a different route to try and make it be longer or should I just run my normal circle twice.  After much deliberation I decided to run my route twice. In the past when I didn't know how far I was going I spent the entire time wondering how far I was to my goal, this way I know approximately where I am in the 6 mile goal.

The morning was beautiful, not to cold not too hot so I was ready to go.  Started off and the first half mile I was really wondering if I set my goal too high.  My legs felt tired (I had tried my hardest to run my 5K route as fast as I could and each mile was in the 9 minute area but it was hard!) so I was worried I set this higher goal on the wrong day.  After about a mile and a half I settled in and started to feel better.  The wonderful thing about running is I am all the sudden half way thru or ending and I can barely remember the middle....kind of like childbirth.....you all the sudden forget about the bad when you are at the end! 

Was feeling pretty good when I got to the point where I started the next 'lap'.  The second 'lap' surprised me in regard to how good I actually felt!  I ran till my nike+ told me it was 6 miles which was probably about 5 blocks from the house (had to add some to my normal route to make it be 6 miles).  Stopped and took this picture which is AWFUL of me.  I look at these other running blogs and these ladies look the same at the end of a marathon as they do at the first.  I look like an old woman who is dying!! LOL  I need to learn how to take a better picture to commemorate these milestones!

The picture will have to come later....can't seem to find where I saved it!

Here's my time according to Nike+.  
6.01 Miles
1:09:51 time
11:36 Avg pace
668 calories burned

My avg pace was slow BUT better than I thought it would be. It ended up being not that different than my daily 5K pace.  I was allowing myself to go as slow as needed just so I could finish the 6 miles WITHOUT stopping!  And I did it and did it faster than I thought I would.  So I would say it was a success!!

Got home and the dog was whining at me saying 'It's my turn now!'  He didn't care if I had run 3 or 6 miles, he knew the routine and it was his time to go!  Changed clothes on top because it would be very cold walking in those wet clothes.  Took him on his normal route then back home.

Decided this would be the perfect morning to try a tofu scramble recipe from Vegan with a Vengence.  Took about 20 minutes to make but it was good.  Again, I had a picture but can't find where it is.  Will show it tomorrow.  It definitely has a different flavor than regular scrambled eggs but I thought it was tasty.....I will tweek the spices alittle more to my liking next time.  Also had a Morning Star Farms sausage patty.  Again, it was the first time for these.  Good but I think would be better with something besides the spices in the scramble.  They didn't compliment each other well.

Today we go to a winery in Ursa, IL for some relaxation with some of Danny's friends from Edina.  Should be fun. 

The rest of my day will go well knowing I accomplished this goal this morning.  As I was finishing up I was thinking, you can run for over an hour without stopping and have the discipline to do this but you can't get your eating in order?  Yes, you can!