Sunday, October 17, 2010

Eating - trying to get it right!

In June T and I joined hubbie/dad in our new location.  For more months that I would like to count I thought when I was able to leave the job that I hated everything would be great in the eating dept.  I am a stress eater, I am a happy eater, I am a console myself for a bad day eater, I am a reward myself for a great accomplishment eater, I am a I love to eat eater.  Because I disliked my job so much I attributed much of my eating issues to that unhappiness.  Little did I know, just leaving the job wouldn't solve anything.  And I have to say in the back of my mind I knew that!!
So I get to our new location, on 'sabatical' and carefree.  Sooooo happy to not have to work nights, weekends or holidays any longer.  I had been pretty disciplined for the last several months before the move, doing the Atkins diet and feeling good eating less food.  For the first couple weeks I was kept busy with settling in and doing things around the house.  I decided that since I would not be getting the same number of steps each day since my retail job kept me on the move all day long, I would need to start exercising more.  I got up at 5:45am and would walk for at least 45 mintues each day.  Then I would take the dog on at least a 30 minute walk at least once a day sometimes 2 times.  Feeling good about the additional exercise I started gradually eating more food and breaking the 'no carb' rule.  This has happened to me so many times I can't count.  It is SOOOOO frustrating that I can't nail this.

I AM A BINGE EATER.  If I am incredibly disciplined and 'in the zone' I can resist the pull of sugar and carbs but that zone only lasts so long.  I have issues with food and I really am not sure why.

Around 2 months ago I decided I should consider becoming a vegan.  I have always been an animal lover but feel that truly the most important component was the health benefits.  Living in a small town doesn't give me the countless options for eating a vegan diet that St Louis would have so I 'tested' it out for a few weeks by just being vegetarian and seeing what vegan options were there.  It seemed like it was going to be too hard but then the egg plant salmonela thing happened and I saw some pretty terrible images from chicken farms so decided I would cut out the eggs and dairy.  Plus, the absence of cholestorol because no dairy is a huge plus.

In the mean time, I started running shortly after I started my walking.  I worked myself up to being able to run 3 miles without stopping by July but the wheels had fallen off the truck as far as eating.  I also was kickboxing for 60 minutes 3 times a week.  With all that exercise, you would think I would be stick thin by October for my 30 yr reunion but noooooo  I hadn't lost a thing and had gained.  Atribute that to such a poor diet.  Just goes to show you can be vegan and still over-weight!

I am 48, soon to be 49 and not incredibly over-weight.  My doctor never says anything to me about needing to lose weight so I consider myself to be fairly normal but I am borderline 'clinically obese'.  At 5'4" I don't have a whole lot of height to balance out the 150 and change weight I carry.  I am not happy in my skin.  I don't feel healthy and most of the time I feel bloated and pudgy.  Putting clothes on each day is not any fun. I put them on and shake my head that I am running everyday but still can't fit or feel comfortable in size 14 things.

This blog I hope will help me work thru these issues that I have.

Here are some guidelines I need to try and follow:

1.  Portion control - this is such an issue.  Recently I have started following some blogs of runners I stumbled on and they post pics of what they eat and it hit me like a ton of bricks.....they running more than I am on a daily basis and they are eating much smaller portions than I am.  Got to adjust.

2.  Moderation - there are so many things I like to eat I really don't want to 'ban' things from my diet.  I need to learn how to control and not have the emotional issues with said food items that makes me binge on them.

3.  Keep moving and training to get faster and more comfortable with longer runs.  Goal of another half marathon in the spring?

4.  Embrace water and make it my friend.  I can't lie......I hate water except for when I am hot and sweaty then ice cold water tastes good but I have to choke it down otherwise.  Goal:  try and find other alternatives that I like but can get me the water I need.

Enough for now.....I'm exhausted! 
I'm going to bed to read. More tomorrow!

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